GateCrash: The Wedding Contract

Jiahui January 19, 2011 0
GateCrash: The Wedding Contract

Have you ever wished you’ve got all your pre-marital agreement written down in black and white whenever your spouse forgot to do the dishes or make the bed? And even if you’ve got a contract beautifully written, how on earth are you going to get him to sign it?

Listen to this. Here’s the most sure-fire way to get him to sign it. WILLINGLY.

Simply draft out your Wedding Contract and have your sisters kindly request (read coerce) the groom into signing it during the Gatecrash! Since the poor guy have to do just about anything to win your hand, getting him to put his name on the dotted line shouldn’t be too big a problem.

Drawing up the Rules!
I think it’s important that this contract not be taken too seriously. This means that you should never use it for serious business like finances (e.g. “Who should pay for the Kid’s education”) or family issues (e.g. “Whether to visit his mother etc”) since such issues usually require thorough discussion on both part.

Instead, use the contract to target only pet peeves like washing the dishes and lifting the toilet seats for example. For inspiration, just think back to your relationship and try to remember any bad habits that irks you. These minor annoyances can come back to haunt your relationship if you are not careful. So why not kill multiple birds with one contract? You can not only cue him about your expectations but also get him to conform to it!

Make it Stick!
Of course the ultimate way to get your spouse to comply with your terms is to keep them realistic and fair. If half of your clauses are made up of impossible tasks like “I will pay for all your retail therapy” then the likelihood of him abiding by it is probably next to impossible.

If you’re still not sure what to include, here are some ideas:

I Solemnly swear that
1) I will never taint your pristine toilet seat by always lifting it before use.
2) I will never contaminate the toothpaste by leaving the toothpaste cap off again.
3) if you can cook a lovely dinner, I can wash the dirty plates.
4) unless you are nagging again, I will always hear you out.
5) my dirty laundry are biohazards and they belong only in the laundry.
6) I will never besoil your dainty hands. Therefore, I will always taking out the trash.

Have some Penalties
What are laws without punishment right? Similarly so for your House Rules! Include the consequences for noncompliance in your contract. You might want to consider punishment like “giving you a backrub”, “paying for the next dinner” or “cooking dinner for the next 3 days” and so forth. And just like the clauses, these punishment should also be taken with some humor by keeping them simple and lighthearted.

Implementing it
Now you’ve got your rules set in stone, print it out on a nice firm piece of paper, get your sisters to make him sign it on during your Gatecrash and voila! The next time you argue over whose turn it is to do the dishes, you can triumphantly whip out your wedding contract and shove it in his face!

“I’m sorry sweetheart, but you should have looked before you jumped!”

See also: Wedding Programs , Wedding Ideas , Wedding Timelines and Checklists


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